3 Practical Ways to Be Thankful When You Just Don't Feel Like It
Thanksgiving 2020
It’s coming. And it will likely be served with a measure of disappointment this year. While many people just want to push the fast forward button and get to 2021, perhaps what we really need is to embrace this little holiday nestled in between Halloween and Christmas.
I’m going to be real with you. This year has been tough so far and it is not pulling any of its punches. If you’re like me, you are probably looking at the upcoming holiday season and feeling a wide mix of emotions: anticipation, frustration, tempered excitement and maybe, already, a sense of disappointment. What’s next? What will we miss out on? What traditions will face a forced hiatus? And how do we enjoy the holiday season with all of this swirling around inside of us? If you can relate to this at all, let me encourage you to start with gratitude.
Post by Gwendolyn Smith, founder of The Wandering Hearth.
Yes, we have lost a lot this year. Many of us are in some state of grief. You may be grieving for a family member lost to illness or friends you have not seen in ages due to travel restrictions. Or, you may be grieving the comfortable routines your life has lost. But many of us still have so much. Clouded by the fog of 2020, we need to rub our eyes and take a look at what we do have and offer thanks as we recognize our blessings. And since we may not feel particularly grateful right now, here are three practical ways that you can exercise your gratitude muscles, even when you just don’t feel like it.
Practice Daily
So that expression I used above, “exercise gratitude,” it exists because it is work to be thankful. To become truly grateful, you must change your mindset and practice intentional gratitude. The good news is that a little practice every day can go a long way.
Have you had a meal with a two year old? They don’t need practice to be good at complaining. No one has to teach us how to be negative, we are surrounded with it. Breaking through the weight of a complaining attitude requires daily exercise. We must intentionally considering what we have and offer thanks.
The offering can vary from day to day. You may use words, or song, or prayers. Perhaps you want to build out a gratitude bullet list like the one in the Thanksgiving 2020 Planner. Regardless, take time to flex those thankfulness muscles each day.
Be Specific
Vague, generic gratitude is weak. It is not bad to offer thanks for something vague like “loving parents,” in fact that is a very good thing to be grateful for. But take that and break it down. Flex those muscles a little more.
Often the feeling of gratitude is the sum of many small parts, each of which provides its own opportunity for offering thanks. What makes your parent loving? How do you know? Why does it bless you that they are loving, again be specific. Consider the many parts that contribute to the broader items you are grateful for and honor those as well.
This reflective practice of being specific will help shape how you view challenging situations. And it will support your daily practice.
Start Small
When looking over the landscape of a year like 2020, it can be really hard to identify things for which we can be grateful. So, instead of the 30,000 foot view start on the ground. Don’t look at the overwhelming big picture, rather begin with small things from the day. Look around you for the blessings. Quiet your mind, put your devices aside, and physically look for things for which you can offer thanks.
If you are struggling to see them, start with your five senses. Close your eyes and consider what you hear and smell. Are you grateful for the smell of coffee brewing? The sound of music when you’re feeling blue? Extend this to your other senses. What about the taste of chocolate? Perhaps you are grateful for the feel of hug from a loved one? The colors of the leaves changing on the trees?
Your daily practice can also start small. Perhaps begin with 5 minutes of reflection and thanksgiving over a cup of tea in the morning. Or take a 10 minute walk where you focus on being grateful. Or, work your practice of thanksgiving into a normal daily routines like taking a shower or washing the dishes.
Use these three strategies together to help build your daily practice of gratitude. As a guest, or as the host, the attitude you bring to Thanksgiving day will be contagious, and hopefully this year that’s the only thing that is! Do you want to spend the holiday complaining about how garbage this year has been? That will certainly put a damper on the holiday.
As you head into the Thanksgiving season, your ability to be mindful and prepare intentionally for gathering with people will directly impact the celebratory tone in your home. While preparing for the meal is certainly necessary, preparing your mindset should be the first priority. Gathering people to celebrate the year’s blessings - and giving back to those in need - should be the focus of Thanksgiving.
My encouragement to you is to take time to be thankful daily. Especially right now and especially when you don’t feel like it. It’s ok to start small but be specific. Work on flexing those gratitude muscles over the next few weeks. Daily practice will build the strength you need for Thanksgiving Day. With all we’ve lost this year, I encourage you to make sure that you don’t let “thanks” and “giving” go by the wayside.
Join Us!
Pull up a chair hearthside as we celebrate the season. We are going to make the best of this year’s Thanksgiving that we can, together.
I’ve gathered six of my fellow food and hospitality writers to the Hearthside Blog. Between now and Thanksgiving they will be sharing tools that have equipped them to celebrate even in difficult years. We’ve got some great topics coming up including:
Friendsgiving
Staying Sane While Hosting
Great Dinner Conversations
Self Care During Thanksgiving
Giving Abundantly
Rhythms of Gratitude
And these lovely ladies are serving up some delicious recipes for us:
Spiced Pumpkin Parfait
Butternut Squash Soup
Buttermilk Cornbread
Cranberry Sauce
Sweet Potato Pie
Are you ready?
Grab your copy of the Thanksgiving Planner to set your holiday mindset, work on practicing gratitude, and plan the day!
Written by Gwendolyn Smith
Are you Team Side or Team Dessert?
Team: Sides
My favorite side at Thanksgiving is Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Where do you typically celebrate Thanksgiving?
And how do you contribute as guest or host?
My husband and I usually alternate between families for Thanksgiving. As a guest at my in-laws, I enjoy bringing a veggie side and helping with the prep. As a guest at my Mom’s house, we tackle the big meal together. This year we hope to be able to drive out to see my family and cook together.
